benedicts-doublechins:

Okay so a guy held a door open and as I was walking I thought in my head ’ thanks mister attractive face” and then he giggled and I realized it wasN’T IN MY HEAD AND HE JUST KEPT GIGGLING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD

81,601 notes

fffcuk:

today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore

31,267 notes

gohn-jegbert:

have you ever had that moment where you see police officers and try not to look suspicious even though you didnt do anything and you end up looking like you just murdered ten people

(Source: battor)

113,035 notes

anaisforthewin:

shapeshiftandtrick:

ryan-aniki:

shapeshiftandtrick:

how does one tell a boy that one likes him

I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:

  1. text them and start playing one of those 20q games
  2. if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
  3. if they ask “You like anyone?”
     reply Yeah, you.
  4. If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”

dude that is genius

slow clappin’ it out.

88,346 notes


So basically Lemony Snicket predicted tumblr.

So basically Lemony Snicket predicted tumblr.

(Source: a-sip-0f-keseys-k00l-aid-42)

340,194 notes

somekidinjandles:

I wasn’t on the Peter Pan train until I heard this.Can I marry him? Because he’s the best.

somekidinjandles:

I wasn’t on the Peter Pan train until I heard this.
Can I marry him? Because he’s the best.

109 notes

30down30more:

Red lipstick makes me feel like I could cut a man’s heart out with a high heel shoe and fucking eat it.

You either know what I’m talking about or you don’t haha

82,419 notes

as-adorable-derps-do:

j-wolf-harding:

demons:

The immediate reaction of German POWs upon being forced by the US Army to watch to the uncensored footage of the concentration camps shot by the US Signal Corps.

People often forget that most of the German troops had no idea about what was going on, they weren’t all fanatic Nazis bent on genocide, they were just regular soldiers who answered the call when their country went to war.

^ This

as-adorable-derps-do:

j-wolf-harding:

demons:

The immediate reaction of German POWs upon being forced by the US Army to watch to the uncensored footage of the concentration camps shot by the US Signal Corps.

People often forget that most of the German troops had no idea about what was going on, they weren’t all fanatic Nazis bent on genocide, they were just regular soldiers who answered the call when their country went to war.

^ This

150,856 notes